Find Me Some Love - Astrology

Astrology

Hey man, my name is Billy Bob Spacecadet and I am SO into astrology. I think about it all the time. Like, sometimes I'll be taking a virtual drive in my rocketship of love when I come across a psychic. I'll go into that psychic and say, "Hey crazy lady, why don't you take a look at those tarot cards of yours and tell me what's goin' on. But don't tell me things I already know, tell me new stuff. New stuff is awesome!" Usually, the psychic will kick me out at the point, but I don't let that get me down. Instead, I simply stare up at they sky and gaze out into the vast distances of the cosmos! Sometimes I'll see an alien pass by and sometimes I won't. But it's always a heavy trip, man, you can be sure of that.

Wacky.

What can astrology do for you? Oh man, there are so many ways it can improve your life. I mean, just sit back and think of the limitless possibilities. Perhaps you can use it for romantic purposes. You know, like love astrology? Here's a sample of a reading you might get:

The setting suns of Saturn are colliding with the tides of Mars, which means Tuesday is a good day for you to go out and meet babes!

Wow, isn't astrology the best? It's even better than numerology, and that's saying a lot. You know, as in, the number three is your lucky number, so you should go out on every third of the month and try to meet babes! The wonders of this planet of ours are not merely limited to the conventional - you need your mind to expand to its farthest reaches in order to truly comprehend just what it is that astrology can do for you. Don't listen to your mom telling you that it is just a bad business of phonies because your mom is wrong if she says that. My cat and dog know it, and so should you. Astrology is lunar.

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